Recipe For A Midlife Crisis

Find a low paid, high-stress role,
Under a hyperactive boss.
Beat in hundreds of emails
And a sprinkling of hair loss.

Take at least one double chin,
Two very nicely rounded thighs,
An ever-expanding waistline
With tell-tale bags under the eyes.

Melt it gradually over the years
In a cramped, untidy home
Littered with adolescent offspring,
Stir in four walls’ syndrome.

Add some definite money troubles,
A pinch or two of marital stress,
Squeeze it firmly into a mould,
Freezing it rapidly, with bitterness.

Produce a packet of memories,
Drop in six broken dreams,
Three teaspoons of lost romance
And a mug of might-have beans.

Try to fill one too many rolls,
Raise blood pressure, over-load,
Bake with a sense of responsibility
And wait for it all to explode!